Sometimes diabetes seems understandable, logical, reliable almost. But not today.
The times I find diabetes hardest to deal with are the times when it just doesn't seem to be playing the game. When it takes it into its head to change the rules every day that week. When you never know what you are supposed to be doing because what happened yesterday isn't happening today.
I'm fortunate in that I don't seem to get ill very often, but I'm just coming out of a cough/cold thing which, unusually for me has pushed my blood glucose levels right up. Suddenly my total daily dose of insulin rose by about 50%. I kept things in check, more or less, for the few days it lasted - but knew that when things began to return to normal I'd have to back-off the extra insulin sharpish or I'd end up running low most of the day. That day, it seems was yesterday. I felt hypo much of the morning. I ate lots of extra carbs. Today I tried normal doses and went to the gym. Felt a little low mid-morning and had a couple of fruit pastilles. At lunchtime I was 12.0 (216). WHAT?! But I've not eaten anything like the extra I did yesterday (when I continued to putter along on the edge of hypoland despite all the sweets and biscuits I scoffed) AND I've only had half my standard 'gym day' extra carbs AND I tested after the gym and was fine AND AND AND...
So I stomped around and got all cross. And Jane had to bear the brunt of it. And I'm sorry.
These are the times when diabetes gets me down. These are the times when I know I am a nightmare to be around. These are the times I wish I could control myself. These are the times when I am most grateful for the love and support of my family. Especially Jane. I could not do this without you.
M x
